2010 was a year juicy tabloid year. To be brutally frank, the downs — and dirty — proved more entertaining than the ups. After all, one man’s poison is another’s meat. And is it not an accepted fact that the higher the climb the bigger the fall? This is especially the case of celebrities. Indeed, in 2010 there were many moments when our favorite stars fell from from grace, by virtue of their own clumsiness, backwardness, lies, lack of taste or too much of it, or ego… For those gleeful moments when we couldn’t stop ourselves from enjoying every iota of their follies… here are my top 5 with Tiger Woods and his hormonal surges, Chantal Biya’s gleaming wigs, Jean-Paul Guerlain and his indolent Niggers, a very French football team, and Tony Parker and his desperate housewives!
Of Tiger Woods, hormones and altars
2010 was not easy for the king of golf. This adventure titled “The mysterious Woods” began when the Tiger that inhabits the mysterious Woods admitted to being human, publicly. He had wronged his wife by sleeping with a waitress. One waitress. But no sooner said than one humble waitresss morphed into a bevy of oversexed females, turning the man who had built his career on a saintly image of integrity and perfection into a sex crazed hound. He lost his wife, sponsors and, needless to say, millions of dollars. But on the flip side, he has finally freed himself from the shackles that bound him to a false altar boy image in a country where image is bought at market value. 2011 will no doubt be the year of an unleashed Tiger. And now that we know his strengths and weaknesses, there’s no need for another hide and seek game!
Chantal Biya’s hair
The first lady of Cameroon is our modern day Marie Antoinette, the extravagant 18th century French queen whose big white hair still stands as one of the world’s greatest wonders. Chantal Biya’s wigs have a celebrity life of their own. They are absolute show-stoppers! Those gleaming non-discriminatory wigs that remind us of Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors have brought Madame Chantal Biya international fame. During Pope Benedict XVI’s visit to Cameroon, she had majestically emerged with an incandescent orange wig. In 2010, Chantal Biya made use of her several international appearances to show us her unique style, becoming a favourite in the foreign press whilst gracing 6 pages of the prestigious Gala Magazine. In 2010, she finally became a celebrity in their own right. One never remembers her speeches, but, ah, those redhead, blonde, black… wigs are unforgettable. Chantal even managed to overshadow the gorgeous French first lady, Carla Bruni, during the summer of 2010 when the two appeared at the fiftieth anniversary of African independence from France. And for that, a big thumbs up to Madame Chantal Biya. We look forward to her 2011 collection.
Jean-Paul Guerlain and the indolent Niggers
From amusement to nausea, Jean-Paul Guerlain’s racist comments uttered live during an afternoon news interview on French national television sadly shot him to fame. It was shocking, disheartening and nauseating to hear the perfumer utter these words: “For once, I started working as a negro. I do not know if niggers have ever worked so hard …” We all cried foul, denounced the perfumer’s racist and colonialist remarks, demonstrated on Facebook and marched on the Champs-Elysees, but how many of us really boycotted Guerlain’s products? Many people protested but continued to wear Guerlain’s perfume and make-up in secret while promising not to buy new ones after using up what they already had. After all, they are so expensive that it would be a shame to throw them away… No, Shame on us!
A very French team in South Africa
On paper, it was supposed to be the perfect team. The World Cup would mark a comeback; the French national team’s return after its Black, White and Arab days of 1998, when they won the prestigious World Cup. But then, even before the World Cup, controversies had reached fever pitch levels: Where are the Arabs? There are too many blacks in the selection, etc.. And as if the ego crisis, jealousy and petty quarrels among the players weren’t enough, an egocentric coach was thrown onto the heap. It was an off pitch saga that drew as much attention as the matches themselves; A saga that continued well after the end of the World Cup and fed our bored summer evenings. The Blues fell hard and the news couldn’t be crunchier… But talking about ego; are they not French afterall?
Tony Parker and Eva Longoria
One of the most glamorous couples in Hollywood surprised everyone with their decision to divorce. Tony Parker’s “platonic” text messages with Erin Barry, the wife of his teammate, Brent, was a bit too intimate to remain under the ‘just friends’ tag. Over 100 hot and steamy text messages sent in a month! And notwithstanding Tony’s cry for mercy on bended knees, Eva Longoria did not budge. Comically, 24 hours after their agents published a denial after an article revealed the affair, Eva and Tony announced their divorce on twitter. According to Mario Lopez, Eva’s best friend, this affair with Erin Barry was not acceptable. Tony had already nurtured an affair with a young woman right after their big wedding in France and stayed in touch with her on Facebook, but this affair with the wife of Brent Barry, a friend of 12 years was way too insulting! Erin’s image as a top charity personality and a dedicated housewife took a nosedive after the revelation. She had refused to talk about the affair on phone during a TV interview and later broken down into tears before hanging up. Desperate housewives?
